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EASY: A moron could do it as long as she owns a butter knife for cutting, a jelly jar for measuring liquids, and a soup spoon to measure dry ingredients. The ability to read is good, and instinctively knowing you can’t stick your finger in a pot of boiling liquid for a quick taste-test is even better.

BEGINNER EASY: A moron’s daughter could do it, and you could even skip the butter knife if she is prone to hurting herself.

INTERMEDIATE: Requires the above skill-set plus a slightly more sophisticated working knowledge of the English language, the ability to follow straight-forward directions (sort of), and must own a couple of basic kitchen gadgets, like a blender, a hand mixer, or a food processor from Dollar General.

GOURMET EASY: Requires a trip to the grocery store because you don’t have all the ingredients in the pantry, the ability to follow directions, have in your possession a few measuring devices-like a measuring cup and some measuring spoons,  own a knife that can at least cut through room temperature butter, napping children and ½ a brain.

GOURMET HARD: Requires a trip to the grocery store because you don’t have ANY of the ingredients in your pantry. (heck, you haven’t even heard of half of them!), the ability to understand the directions you are following, be in possession of a full set of measuring devices, (yep ya gotta go find the ¼ tsp and the ¼ cup the kids like to play with.  HINT: check the bathtub),own a knife that can actually cut a tomato in ½ without reducing it to chunky tomato soup, a house VOID of children, ¾ of a brain, and a college education because you’ll need the extra income to buy the “gourmet” kitchen devices to create your “gourmet” dishes.

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